PAMPAINIT TALAGA.......
PAMPAINIT NG ULO!!! HAHAHAHA
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tan - G A
Juan and Pedro nag-text
Juan: Pedro pa pasaload naman ako ng 2 Pesos o.
(napasa na)
Juan: Thanks Pedro!
Pedro: O wag ka na mag-reply 2 pesos lang yan eh.
Juan: K
Juan: Pedro pa pasaload naman ako ng 2 Pesos o.
(napasa na)
Juan: Thanks Pedro!
Pedro: O wag ka na mag-reply 2 pesos lang yan eh.
Juan: K
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Resimay
To hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the offiser job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.I'm lookin for a Jobb as a offiser but it musent be to complicaited.I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,BRYAN nikname Beefy
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Viva Italia
Il Primo Ministro ha preso mettendo le dita nel naso e lo mangiando.
Prime Minister caught picking his nose then eating it (his booger that is).
Friday, August 22, 2008
Mrs.
I miss Bangkok.
I miss Grad School.
I miss working hard at work.
I miss being fit and thin.
I miss raunchy sex.
I miss being sexy.
I miss being the center of attention.
I miss being bitchy.
I miss the beach.
I miss the feeling of being really really happy.
I miss Grad School.
I miss working hard at work.
I miss being fit and thin.
I miss raunchy sex.
I miss being sexy.
I miss being the center of attention.
I miss being bitchy.
I miss the beach.
I miss the feeling of being really really happy.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Pinoy Branding
1. Parlor in San Juan is named "Cut & Face"
2. Wholesaler of balut in Sto.Tomas, Batangas: "Starduck"
3. Fast food eatery in Nueva Ecija: "Violybee"
4. Internet cafe opened among squatters named "Cafe Pindot"
5. In Manila , there's a laundry named, "Summa Cum Laundry"
6. Petshop in Ortigas: "Pussies and Bitches"
7. A pet shop in Kamuning: "Pakita Mo Pet Mo"
8. Bakery: "Bread Pit"
9. Bank in Alabang: "Alabank"
10. Restaurant in Pampanga named, "Mekeni Rogers"
11. Restaurant in Pasig : "Johnny's Fried Chicken: The Fried of Marikina"
12. A boxing gym: "Blow Jab"
13. A tombstone maker in Antipolo: "Lito Lapida"
14. A copy center in Sikatuna Village called "Pakopya ni Edgar"
15. A beerhouse in Cavite called, "Chickpoint"
16. Laundromat in Sikatuna: " Star Wash : Attack of the Clothes"
17. Internet cafe in Taguig named, "n@kopi@"
18. Name of a kambingan, "Sa Goat Kita"
19. A salon somewhere, "Curl Up And Dye"
20. A lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bulacan: "Gee Congee"
21. A water refilling station in Dapitan named "Wa-Thirst"
22. A store selling feeds for chickens: "Robocock"
23. Shoe repair in Marikina : "Dr. Shoe-Bago"
24. Shoe repair store along Commonwealth, "SHOEPERMAN: We will HEEL you! save your SOLE, and even DYE for you!"
25. Petshop: "Petness First"
26. Flower shop: "Susan's Roses"
27. Taxicab: "Income Taxi"
28. A 2nd hand watch store: "2nd Time Around".
29. A squid stall in a wet market: "Pusit to the Limit"
30. A shrimp store: "Hipon Coming Back"
31. A gay lawyer's extension office: " Nota Republic"
32. A ceiling installer: "Kisame Street"
33. A car repair shop: "Bangga ka 'day?"
34. An aquatic pet store in Malolos: "Fish Be With You"
35. A fishball cart named, "Poke Poke"
36. A beauty salon: "Saudia Hairlines"
37. A bakery: "Anak Ng Tinapay"
38. A resto along Mayon road in Manila: "May Lisa Eatery"
39. Laundry shop: "Wash Your Problem"
40. This mobile massage business name isn't funny, but their slogan is: "Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage only, God is watching"
41. Ice cream parlor: "Dila Lang Ang Katapat"
42. Chicharon store: "Chicha Hut"
43. Neighborhood pizza store: "Pizza Hot"
44. A fishball cart near UST: "Eat My Balls"
45. A barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: "Pinoy Big Barber"
46. A Resto: "The Last Supper"
47. A goto resto: "Goto Ko Pa!"
48. A peanut vendor's cart with a funny name: "Mani ni Papa"
49. A gym in Malolos: " Gaymann Fitness Center"
50. A Party needs business: "Balloon-Balloonan"
51. A Chinese restaurant in Pasig: "Lah-Fang"
52. A store selling fresh chicken, owned by woman named Dina: "Dina Fresh Chicken"
53. An actual bait and tackle shop in U.S.: "The Master Baiter"
54. Panaderia: "Trimonay Bakeshop"
55. Salon: "Hair Dot Comb"
2. Wholesaler of balut in Sto.Tomas, Batangas: "Starduck"
3. Fast food eatery in Nueva Ecija: "Violybee"
4. Internet cafe opened among squatters named "Cafe Pindot"
5. In Manila , there's a laundry named, "Summa Cum Laundry"
6. Petshop in Ortigas: "Pussies and Bitches"
7. A pet shop in Kamuning: "Pakita Mo Pet Mo"
8. Bakery: "Bread Pit"
9. Bank in Alabang: "Alabank"
10. Restaurant in Pampanga named, "Mekeni Rogers"
11. Restaurant in Pasig : "Johnny's Fried Chicken: The Fried of Marikina"
12. A boxing gym: "Blow Jab"
13. A tombstone maker in Antipolo: "Lito Lapida"
14. A copy center in Sikatuna Village called "Pakopya ni Edgar"
15. A beerhouse in Cavite called, "Chickpoint"
16. Laundromat in Sikatuna: " Star Wash : Attack of the Clothes"
17. Internet cafe in Taguig named, "n@kopi@"
18. Name of a kambingan, "Sa Goat Kita"
19. A salon somewhere, "Curl Up And Dye"
20. A lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bulacan: "Gee Congee"
21. A water refilling station in Dapitan named "Wa-Thirst"
22. A store selling feeds for chickens: "Robocock"
23. Shoe repair in Marikina : "Dr. Shoe-Bago"
24. Shoe repair store along Commonwealth, "SHOEPERMAN: We will HEEL you! save your SOLE, and even DYE for you!"
25. Petshop: "Petness First"
26. Flower shop: "Susan's Roses"
27. Taxicab: "Income Taxi"
28. A 2nd hand watch store: "2nd Time Around".
29. A squid stall in a wet market: "Pusit to the Limit"
30. A shrimp store: "Hipon Coming Back"
31. A gay lawyer's extension office: " Nota Republic"
32. A ceiling installer: "Kisame Street"
33. A car repair shop: "Bangga ka 'day?"
34. An aquatic pet store in Malolos: "Fish Be With You"
35. A fishball cart named, "Poke Poke"
36. A beauty salon: "Saudia Hairlines"
37. A bakery: "Anak Ng Tinapay"
38. A resto along Mayon road in Manila: "May Lisa Eatery"
39. Laundry shop: "Wash Your Problem"
40. This mobile massage business name isn't funny, but their slogan is: "Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage only, God is watching"
41. Ice cream parlor: "Dila Lang Ang Katapat"
42. Chicharon store: "Chicha Hut"
43. Neighborhood pizza store: "Pizza Hot"
44. A fishball cart near UST: "Eat My Balls"
45. A barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: "Pinoy Big Barber"
46. A Resto: "The Last Supper"
47. A goto resto: "Goto Ko Pa!"
48. A peanut vendor's cart with a funny name: "Mani ni Papa"
49. A gym in Malolos: " Gaymann Fitness Center"
50. A Party needs business: "Balloon-Balloonan"
51. A Chinese restaurant in Pasig: "Lah-Fang"
52. A store selling fresh chicken, owned by woman named Dina: "Dina Fresh Chicken"
53. An actual bait and tackle shop in U.S.: "The Master Baiter"
54. Panaderia: "Trimonay Bakeshop"
55. Salon: "Hair Dot Comb"
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Batman Superman
AIRPORT SECURITY: What’s your name?
PASSENGER: Batman.
AS: Your real name, please.
P: My name IS Batman.
AS: Are you trying to be funny?! What’s your surname?
P: Superman.
Airport security handcuffs him & puts him in a locked security facility.
Then they checked his passport.........
PASSENGER: Batman.
AS: Your real name, please.
P: My name IS Batman.
AS: Are you trying to be funny?! What’s your surname?
P: Superman.
Airport security handcuffs him & puts him in a locked security facility.
Then they checked his passport.........
Alien Encounters
This is not the ordinary meeting of the third kind, though just as scary. This is from the hidden compartments of my memories stashed far away back. Anyway, this is a recollection of incidents when I met the scary creepy goose bumps-inducing vertical lipped alien – the vagina!
Scene 1:
Location 1: A Public Clinic somewhere in Las Pinas
This happened during my short stint as a medical representative for some Pharma company. I was assigned to call on an OB-GYN who is currently the clinic’s resident OB-GYN. Since it was my first time there I still don’t know my way inside the clinic. So on my way to her office I crossed a corridor that traversed the length of check-up rooms divided only by hospital curtains. Since I wasn’t so sure where exactly her office was, I had to open each curtain of every “room” to check if the doctor was there. Call it sixth sense of what, but one curtain was beckoning me to come nearer and invisibly asked me to open it. Of course I did. SHIT! Was all I can say. Inside, an obviously pregnant woman, both her feet up in stirrups and her very pregnant vagina displayed for the entire world to see!
Moral: Not all doors should be opened. Monsters might be lurking at the other side of it.
Location 2: Tops, Nivel Hills Cebu
Hitchhiking was one pastime that I share with some of my close friends. So we hitchhiked until we got to Tops, a spot in Nivel Hills. After we got tired of the place, we slowly hiked our way down since it was still safe, it was still around 4 PM anyway. My friend Venus, who is a serial pisser (someone who has the urge to piss on places where there are no CR’s around), decided to pee behind some bushes. So I went across the road, lest I see her vagina hissing with pee, where a jeep was parked. While I was waiting for her I dropped something on the ground. While I bent down to pick it up, it rolled under the jeep so I had to go down lower to reach for it. At my eye-level, just across the thing that dropped out of my hand was a picture perfect of a raggedy old vagina peeing madly! Apparently, the jeep stopped so the old lady can pee. And yep the fuck she did!
Moral: If you drop something, and it rolls under a jeep, accept the fact that it isn’t yours to being with.
Location 3: Bangkerohan, Davao City
This is not a vagina tale but just as scary.
We went to Bangkerohan to buy fruits just before going to the airport. Since I don’t intend to buy a truckload of pomelo, I opted to wait for my companions inside the cab. While I was playing with my phone someone knocked on the window. Lo and behold! When I turned to face the window, a beggar breastfeeding her child was perfectly framed by the car window. I swear to God, if not for the glass partition, my mouth could’ve landed directly at her tits for they were just a few centimeters away from my face!
Moral: Don’t go to Bangkerohan to buy fruits!
After these encounters, I just wish I could curl up in a fetal position and recite this a thousand times: happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts….
Scene 1:
Location 1: A Public Clinic somewhere in Las Pinas
This happened during my short stint as a medical representative for some Pharma company. I was assigned to call on an OB-GYN who is currently the clinic’s resident OB-GYN. Since it was my first time there I still don’t know my way inside the clinic. So on my way to her office I crossed a corridor that traversed the length of check-up rooms divided only by hospital curtains. Since I wasn’t so sure where exactly her office was, I had to open each curtain of every “room” to check if the doctor was there. Call it sixth sense of what, but one curtain was beckoning me to come nearer and invisibly asked me to open it. Of course I did. SHIT! Was all I can say. Inside, an obviously pregnant woman, both her feet up in stirrups and her very pregnant vagina displayed for the entire world to see!
Moral: Not all doors should be opened. Monsters might be lurking at the other side of it.
Location 2: Tops, Nivel Hills Cebu
Hitchhiking was one pastime that I share with some of my close friends. So we hitchhiked until we got to Tops, a spot in Nivel Hills. After we got tired of the place, we slowly hiked our way down since it was still safe, it was still around 4 PM anyway. My friend Venus, who is a serial pisser (someone who has the urge to piss on places where there are no CR’s around), decided to pee behind some bushes. So I went across the road, lest I see her vagina hissing with pee, where a jeep was parked. While I was waiting for her I dropped something on the ground. While I bent down to pick it up, it rolled under the jeep so I had to go down lower to reach for it. At my eye-level, just across the thing that dropped out of my hand was a picture perfect of a raggedy old vagina peeing madly! Apparently, the jeep stopped so the old lady can pee. And yep the fuck she did!
Moral: If you drop something, and it rolls under a jeep, accept the fact that it isn’t yours to being with.
Location 3: Bangkerohan, Davao City
This is not a vagina tale but just as scary.
We went to Bangkerohan to buy fruits just before going to the airport. Since I don’t intend to buy a truckload of pomelo, I opted to wait for my companions inside the cab. While I was playing with my phone someone knocked on the window. Lo and behold! When I turned to face the window, a beggar breastfeeding her child was perfectly framed by the car window. I swear to God, if not for the glass partition, my mouth could’ve landed directly at her tits for they were just a few centimeters away from my face!
Moral: Don’t go to Bangkerohan to buy fruits!
After these encounters, I just wish I could curl up in a fetal position and recite this a thousand times: happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts….
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