This is not the ordinary meeting of the third kind, though just as scary. This is from the hidden compartments of my memories stashed far away back. Anyway, this is a recollection of incidents when I met the scary creepy goose bumps-inducing vertical lipped alien – the vagina!
Scene 1:
Location 1: A Public Clinic somewhere in Las Pinas
This happened during my short stint as a medical representative for some Pharma company. I was assigned to call on an OB-GYN who is currently the clinic’s resident OB-GYN. Since it was my first time there I still don’t know my way inside the clinic. So on my way to her office I crossed a corridor that traversed the length of check-up rooms divided only by hospital curtains. Since I wasn’t so sure where exactly her office was, I had to open each curtain of every “room” to check if the doctor was there. Call it sixth sense of what, but one curtain was beckoning me to come nearer and invisibly asked me to open it. Of course I did. SHIT! Was all I can say. Inside, an obviously pregnant woman, both her feet up in stirrups and her very pregnant vagina displayed for the entire world to see!
Moral: Not all doors should be opened. Monsters might be lurking at the other side of it.
Location 2: Tops, Nivel Hills Cebu
Hitchhiking was one pastime that I share with some of my close friends. So we hitchhiked until we got to Tops, a spot in Nivel Hills. After we got tired of the place, we slowly hiked our way down since it was still safe, it was still around 4 PM anyway. My friend Venus, who is a serial pisser (someone who has the urge to piss on places where there are no CR’s around), decided to pee behind some bushes. So I went across the road, lest I see her vagina hissing with pee, where a jeep was parked. While I was waiting for her I dropped something on the ground. While I bent down to pick it up, it rolled under the jeep so I had to go down lower to reach for it. At my eye-level, just across the thing that dropped out of my hand was a picture perfect of a raggedy old vagina peeing madly! Apparently, the jeep stopped so the old lady can pee. And yep the fuck she did!
Moral: If you drop something, and it rolls under a jeep, accept the fact that it isn’t yours to being with.
Location 3: Bangkerohan, Davao City
This is not a vagina tale but just as scary.
We went to Bangkerohan to buy fruits just before going to the airport. Since I don’t intend to buy a truckload of pomelo, I opted to wait for my companions inside the cab. While I was playing with my phone someone knocked on the window. Lo and behold! When I turned to face the window, a beggar breastfeeding her child was perfectly framed by the car window. I swear to God, if not for the glass partition, my mouth could’ve landed directly at her tits for they were just a few centimeters away from my face!
Moral: Don’t go to Bangkerohan to buy fruits!
After these encounters, I just wish I could curl up in a fetal position and recite this a thousand times: happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts….
Scene 1:
Location 1: A Public Clinic somewhere in Las Pinas
This happened during my short stint as a medical representative for some Pharma company. I was assigned to call on an OB-GYN who is currently the clinic’s resident OB-GYN. Since it was my first time there I still don’t know my way inside the clinic. So on my way to her office I crossed a corridor that traversed the length of check-up rooms divided only by hospital curtains. Since I wasn’t so sure where exactly her office was, I had to open each curtain of every “room” to check if the doctor was there. Call it sixth sense of what, but one curtain was beckoning me to come nearer and invisibly asked me to open it. Of course I did. SHIT! Was all I can say. Inside, an obviously pregnant woman, both her feet up in stirrups and her very pregnant vagina displayed for the entire world to see!
Moral: Not all doors should be opened. Monsters might be lurking at the other side of it.
Location 2: Tops, Nivel Hills Cebu
Hitchhiking was one pastime that I share with some of my close friends. So we hitchhiked until we got to Tops, a spot in Nivel Hills. After we got tired of the place, we slowly hiked our way down since it was still safe, it was still around 4 PM anyway. My friend Venus, who is a serial pisser (someone who has the urge to piss on places where there are no CR’s around), decided to pee behind some bushes. So I went across the road, lest I see her vagina hissing with pee, where a jeep was parked. While I was waiting for her I dropped something on the ground. While I bent down to pick it up, it rolled under the jeep so I had to go down lower to reach for it. At my eye-level, just across the thing that dropped out of my hand was a picture perfect of a raggedy old vagina peeing madly! Apparently, the jeep stopped so the old lady can pee. And yep the fuck she did!
Moral: If you drop something, and it rolls under a jeep, accept the fact that it isn’t yours to being with.
Location 3: Bangkerohan, Davao City
This is not a vagina tale but just as scary.
We went to Bangkerohan to buy fruits just before going to the airport. Since I don’t intend to buy a truckload of pomelo, I opted to wait for my companions inside the cab. While I was playing with my phone someone knocked on the window. Lo and behold! When I turned to face the window, a beggar breastfeeding her child was perfectly framed by the car window. I swear to God, if not for the glass partition, my mouth could’ve landed directly at her tits for they were just a few centimeters away from my face!
Moral: Don’t go to Bangkerohan to buy fruits!
After these encounters, I just wish I could curl up in a fetal position and recite this a thousand times: happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts….
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