The Wonderful World of Filipinized Reality TV (Part 2)

Hi Kids! Last time I presented my personal Filipinized Reality TV shows that I deem revolting. Revolting as in yech-I-just-vomited-in-my-mouth. As I’ve said, I have three categories to classify these shows. Revolting, Undecided, and Riveting. Since Revolting was done and over with, here comes Undecided.

Undecided (Gray area. I can’t quite place my feelings of whether I love or hate these shows).

Project Runway Philippines

Of course like all men raised well, I love the original Project Runway brouhaha. Putting a group of highly creative individuals in a controlled setting will likely lead to surprise endings, and not to mention catfights. Since I love the show so much, ergo it will follow that I will love the Filipino version of it. Yeah, sometimes.

What I love about the show:

Filipino creativity and ingenuity is always fun to watch. No matter what the adversary is, we will always see the light at the end of the tunnel, the sun beyond clouds, and whatever bullshit that symbolizes winning over adversaries. We can be likened to cockroaches that refuse to die even after trampled upon. Hahaha. The show is also a very good venue for additional proof that we Filipinos are really very much ready to have air kisses with the likes of the oddly grotesque Donnatella Versace, the flamboyant and colorful Donna Karan, and all the other internationally known names in fashion.

The show was really very religious to the US concept, a facet that is very important to earn credibility points. Of course since we don’t have the caliber of a German international top model as versatile and hot as Heidi Klum, we have to make do of what we have.

What I hate about the show:

For a show that is majorly comprised of gay designers, the show isn’t gay enough. It’s as stiff as a morning woodie! Send in the drama! Bring in the tears and catfights! Also, it is very unforgivable for me to dismiss our local dialects. If talking in English causes nosebleed to the talker, by all means, talk in the vernacular, or write it down, or do sign languages! It’s very hypocritical and very funny (in a sad way, talk about oxymorons!).

(I have a question. Could Joji Lloren be any gayer? Whenever I see him on-screen he reminds me of a Cirque de Soleil production, I dunno why.)

I can’t place my emotions about Teresa Herrera. She’s beautiful yes, but it feels like she’s wishing that she’d rather be somewhere else whenever she does her spiels. Her connection towards the contestants is akin to a boss housemaid relationship not host and contestant. It’s also sad that the partner magazine will have to be Mega. I mean, does anybody read that shit?


Philippines Next Top Model

Again, like all men raised well, I love the America’s Next Top Model, all seasons of it. (Although I’m pretty sure that most of the contestants are still the same outcasts even after their respective shows are off the air). Each episode is comprised of 5 soap operas combined in 1 show. Filipinos being suckers for drama, PNTM won’t surely disappoint, sometimes.

What I love about the show:

I love Wilam Doesnt. (I actually watch her talk show with Lucy. Without her, it’s like watching a lobotomized version of a Chinese cooking show aired during Sundays). Therefore, having her as a judge was a welcome treat. Robbie Carmona wasn’t bad either.

Again, the show was really very religious to the US concept, right from the lalalalalala tune during the opening credits to the usual Tyra Banks Spiel – you’re still in the running towards becoming America’s (Philippines’) Next Top Model.

The contestants were comprised of a yummy mix of personalities. A feisty statuesque lady from Cebu, a dark-skinned beauty from North Luzon (of course Wilma’s favorite, at first) and some interspersing of Chinitas of various chinkyness.

What I hate about the show:

It’s shown in RPN 9, where no one really tunes in to. The reception was always very ludicrous (coming from someone with no TV production background).

Ruffa is sometimes hard to watch. If she was channeling Tyra, she’ll be tearing her hair-weaves in one strong pull. The lady from Preview magazine was actually better.

The commercial shoot that they had was extremely memorable. Not because it was so good. It was so bad it stenched until now.

to be continued...

The Wonderful World of Filipinized Reality TV (Part 1)

Like everyone else who adores the boob tube, I lurve Reality TV. There’s something unexplainable about looking at the inane but intimate lives of strangers making them extremely riveting. There is a certain astute complexity in the way people that we normally regard as boring, could transform into superfluous creatures worthy of our time. Anyway, I compiled a list of Reality TV series that are based from a foreign franchise. I classified them as Revolting, Undecided and Riveting.

Revolting

Pinoy Idol

Yech. Millions of pesos down the drain.
Honestly, I am a big fan of GMA singing contests simply because they really can deliver! Shows such as piNOY POP SUPerstar have produced singers that are unequivocally world class. GMA clearly stepped on a faux pas on this one, hands down.

Where they were wrong-

Firstly, the premise of the singing competition Idol in itself is quite controversial. Though it is solely a singing competition, choosing the winners will really rely not necessarily on the basis of vocal abilities of a contestant but rather on his/her ability to garner viewer votes. Yeah one can say that ultimately, the show is looking for the next Pop Superstar but then again, on the merits of musicality, this is where the debacle usually starts.

Pinoy Idol is one big example. (Renaming the show to Pinoy Idol from last year’s Philippine Idol was actually a blessing in disguise. Those who joined last year’s competition won’t have to waft this year’s shit). First faux pas – the judges. Last year’s roster, with the exception of La Pilita, was actually great. Ryan Cayabyab is music fundamentals personified! Francis M on the other hand will always be a music icon of the Philippine Pop Culture. And now enters Ogie Alcasid, Jolina Magdangal, and Wyngard Tracy. Yeah Ogie is right on, being one of the best singer and songwriter in the PI, but taking in those other 2 as judges was like a prank gone bad. Jolina is cutesy in all fairness, but seeing her give advices to aspiring singers when she herself is not even close to being a good one is really very hard to swallow. I don’t hate her or anything but it could’ve been best if the show got a senior one (not necessarily age, e.q. Mamita) like Jaya or Kyla for example. Now the deal with Wyngard is just weird. I’m pretty sure he was just splotched in with the three to provide the “Simon Cowell” character. He is really unnecessary. If they wanted a true-blue bitch to earn for them the much coveted ratings, they could’ve asked Celia Rodriguez instead of this person. Again, I have nothing against him, since I don’t even know Wyngard, all my salivatory elocutions are based from my experiences as an avid watcher of the show, well if I actually have the stomach to listen to all performances. Second faux pas – the contestants. Considering that they did an over-publicized nationwide audition for Pinoy Idol, it would follow that they could’ve discovered the next best thing in music. WRONG! Yeah there were a couple of hits here and there but ultimately, I can’t give a shit about the top 12, my gosh 2 of them are “rockers” one hideous, the other gross, eew that’s all I can say. And lastly, of course as expected, since the show’s premise started flimsy, the ending would likewise be the same. Case in point – the winner, Gretchen from a wealthy family in Tacloban (I’m not insinuating that they probably bought truckloads of sim cards or anything) whose voice I can’t even remember.

PBB (Pinoy Big Brother)

Honestly, I was a big fan during the early episodes of Season 1. Whether we admit it or not, watching the show is like nursing our voyeuristic side. We secretly are very interested in spying the private lives of strangers. My interest greatly heightened when Sam Milby came in. I mean he was really gorgeous, prior to all gay accusations and whatnot, but then he still is even amidst all gossips. Anyway, my interest waned when the ABS CBN stigma came in. Aargh! If GMA7 is synonymous to Barok or Jologs, ABS CBN is the epitome of over-sensationalism; you know rubbing the “in” thing in front of your face until you get sick of it. It is common knowledge that they even sensationalize news. So as expected, when the show’s ratings kept on going up, they have to infuse in their sickening formula. First example, letting in all the tear-jerkers. There should at least be one crying session per episode. It’s alright if I’m watching a Judy Ann Santos soap, but heck it’s reality tv! Yeah crying everyday is pretty much a part of life… if there are cameras all around you! Second example – the tasks. Their tasks are so mundane I can’t even think straight. Let’s just say that if ever I was one of the housemates and I was given any one of their idiotic tasks, I will flick my middle finger in front of all 50 cameras, mouthing words that’ll eventually sound as a heart monitor during post editing. Third and last, the disembodied voice of “Kuya” is downright gut-wrenching, bowel inducing annoying. Again, if I were a housemate, and I hear kuya say Housemates… I’ll scream FUCK YOU!!!

to be continued...

Customer Care in 2020

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